Being a Friendstayer

What it takes to live light, move often, and be welcome

If you like the idea of friends hosting each other, or you’re in a big life transition, or you want to try a more fluid, low‑cost rhythm of living, becoming a Friendstayer is a real lifestyle choice.
It isn’t a casual weekend experiment. It’s not about buying a bunch of tiny travel products. It’s about re‑shaping how you live and move so you’re genuinely easy to host, easy to travel with, and easy to be around.

This is written for people who want to try it — and who understand that our society is extreme in consumerism. You don’t have to be extreme in discomfort. But you will be extreme in letting go and being intentional.

1) The core mindset: lightness, contribution, and responsibility

You’re not just crashing at a friend’s place. You’re showing up as a light, grateful visitor who adds value.

That means:

Lightness: You carry little, you use little, you leave little.
Contribution: You cook, clean, help, share. You’re not a freeloading guest.
Responsibility: You take care of your corner, your food, your belongings, and the host’s peace of mind.

Think of it as a relational form of slow nomadism — moving week to week, not chained to one lease, but also not randomly bouncing from couch to couch without thought. You stay in people’s lives briefly and well.

2) Gear and storage: two practical pieces that make everything easier

You don’t need a huge gear setup. But you do need to intentionally manage what you carry and where the rest lives.

a) The two‑bag approach, but broader

One backpacking backpack — sturdy, weather‑resistant, carries clothes, a sleeping pad, and core gear.
One commuter backpack or daypack — for food, daily use items, small tools, or anything you need to grab fast around town.

This combo is more flexible than naming exact sizes or brands. It captures a long‑haul + day‑to‑day split: the big bag is your mobile home, the smaller bag is your daily kit.

b) A tiny, trusted storage spot

You will likely need one modest storage space somewhere:

a shelf or bin at a friend or family member’s place,
a small rented storage cubby,
or even a single tote that someone keeps for you.

That’s your pantry‑locker or backup cache. It holds:

sentimental items and documents,
backup clothes or a layer for changing weather,
refill supplies for food, spices, toiletries, oils, etc.,
compact kitchen tools you don’t carry every day,
anything you want to keep safe and out of your backpack.

Why this matters:
You’re not buying travel‑size everything. You’re using refillable small containers from your stored supplies. That keeps waste down, costs down, and your daily pack lighter.

3) Food and cooking: one small kit, big impact

A Friendstayer’s kitchen is minimal, but it’s enough to feed yourself and anyone hosting you.

What you actually need

One small cooking pot for coffee/tea, rice, etc.
One small sauté pan for stir fry and meats
A tiny spice kit in refillable vials or tiny bottles.
A small oil container, salt, maybe a few dried herbs.
A simple knife or folding blade and a spork or spoon.
A small cloth or cutting surface, if needed.

That’s it. No big cookware set. No full kitchen in a bag. No clutter.

What you cook

Focus on food that:

doesn’t need a fridge for a few days, or can live in a friend’s kitchen without taking space.
stays stable in a backpack or in a small corner of someone’s home.
adds real nutrition and comfort, not just snacks.

Examples: grains, beans, lentils, rice, sorghum, quinoa; potatoes, squash, carrots, cabbage, apples; sardines, tahini, nuts, oats; a few fresh items rotated every few days.
You learn simple one‑pot meals that are nourishing, shareable, and easy to prepare in any kitchen.

What you bring vs. what you store

Bring enough for a few days in your daypack.
Refill from your storage spot for a longer stretch.
Offer to cook one or two meals for your host using what you have.

This is the sweet spot: you are self‑sufficient but generous.

4) Value you bring to hosts: the real currency

Hosts remember how you made their home feel, not just that you slept there.

As a Friendstayer, you should aim to:

Cook or help cook at least once. Even a simple meal is huge.
Wash dishes and tidy up your area every day.
Offer light help: chores, errands, organizing, a quick fix, or even playing music quietly if welcome.
Bring calm presence: show gratitude, be aware of noise and timing, respect routines.
Offer small contributions to groceries if you can, or bring a few pantry items that a host can use later.

You’re not expected to pay rent or be on a strict chore schedule. You’re expected to be an easy, helpful person to have around.

5) How to minimize in practice: small containers, tiny tools, big discipline

This isn’t about buying more travel gadgets. It’s about choosing reusable, refillable, and tiny items that fit your reality.

Spices: tiny vials you refill from your stored pantry.
Toothpaste or soap: small reusable containers, not single‑use travel tubes.
Clothes: carry a tiny set that fits various weather by layering, stored in your backpacking bag.
Documents and valuables: keep in your storage spot or a slim folder in your backpack.
Electronics: minimal, just what you need — keep cords organized and tiny.

Minimizing is less fun if it’s just a checklist. The real change is discipline: always ask, do I truly need this in my bag right now? If not, leave it in storage. And if you leave it in storage for more than six months, get rid of it.

6) Managing storage and personal belongings

You will need to decide what stays with you, what goes to storage, and what you let go altogether.

What to store

Seasonal gear for winter or summer.
Bulk supplies for food, spices, oils, hygiene basics.
Sentimentals, important documents, items you want to keep safe.

What to carry

Daily clothes for the current week or two.
Your cooking kit and food for a few days.
Documents, a small notebook, a few personal items.

What to let go

Anything that only serves comfort for a stationary life.
Items that take space, weight, or emotional energy without being used.
Redundant gear that you never reach for.

Make storage your safety net, not your primary home. The fewer decisions you make daily about what to carry, the more you can focus on the people and places you visit.

7) Staying present and respectful in each home

Every household is different. You must be adaptable.

Learn each host’s house rhythm: when to be quiet, when to cook, how to store your food.
Respect personal boundaries: ask before using space or items beyond your corner.
Keep your sleeping area clean, compact, and out of the way.
Communicate clearly: share your plan for the week, ask for guidance if you’re unsure, say thank you often.

You’re not just moving your body from place to place — you’re entering someone’s daily life for a short time. That requires social grace and emotional awareness.

8) The pace of life: accepting temporary, fluid rhythms

Most people are used to a fixed address and a set routine. As a Friendstayer, you intentionally accept:

Temporary beds and spaces, sometimes less comfortable than your own place.
Shifting schedules: different hosts, different towns, different climates.
Frequent organizing: packing, unpacking, restocking from storage.
Uncertainty: knowing you’ll move on in about a week, not knowing exactly where next.

This can be challenging at first. But once you learn to trust the rhythm, it becomes freeing: you’re less attached to any one place, more focused on human connection and a light, purposeful life.

9) A small, practical checklist to get started

Choose two backpacks: one backpacking pack + one commuter/daypack.
Secure a storage spot: a bin, shelf, or cubby. Stock it with basics.
Build a tiny kitchen kit: pot, spice vials, oil, knife, spoon.
Plan your food: grains, legumes, produce rotation, shelf‑stable staples.
Practice one‑pot meals: cook once, serve twice.
Set expectations with hosts: week stay, self‑contained, helpful, not demanding.
Stay for a week, then move on: reinforce the pattern of light, respectful travel.

10) Why this is worth trying

If you can handle the discipline of minimalism, refillable gear, and constant movement, the payoff is big:

Lower cost of living
Deeper connections with friends, family, and community
Less waste and less impact on the planet
More freedom to move where you want
More clarity about what truly matters in life

It’s not the easiest path, but it’s honest, relational, and powerful. And you don’t have to do it forever. Even trying it for a season can shift how you see home, work, and community.

If you’re curious, start small, prepare well, and carry that spirit of generosity and lightness into every place you stay.